Barring the unforeseen, by the time this is posted we are ensconced in a house overlooking the Pacific Ocean near Yachats, Oregon.
It is the eighth edition of a biennial reunion that has been dubbed the Roundup of the Usual Suspects. Unlike that first gathering, we are approaching this iteration without trepidation
The first roundup was almost happenstance. It brought together for the first time in decades four couples of us who had been close friends in our relative youth in St. Petersburg, Fla.
When we first became friends, we were all early in our careers and our married lives. We enjoyed being together, and our entertainment often consisted of dinner at someone’s house and watching the children play. We didn’t have any pretensions, because we didn’t have anything to be pretentious about.
Two of the couples left Florida in the early ’70s. We all stayed in touch, swapping Christmas cards with the usual notes about the children and vacations. Some of us had seen each other now and then in the intervening years – a quick dinner on a business trip, that sort of thing – but those contacts had been fleeting. Even the two couples who remained in the St. Petersburg area lived far enough apart that they saw each other only occasionally.
The reunion idea was born when Tom and Jean, both of whom still lived in St. Petersburg, ran into each other. Tom mentioned completing what was to become his and Shirley’s retirement home in the Rockies, and Jean said that would be a great place to get the old gang together.
And it happened. Everyone was interested enough, or curious enough, to work it into their schedules.
As we drove westward from Colorado Springs for that first gathering, I wondered whether we would still find common ground when we hadn’t been together for more than 25 years. We were about to find out whether it was best to leave those glossy old memories unsmudged by current reality. Later, the others would admit having the same questions.
We should not have worried.
We were the last to arrive, and the others were gathered at the table eating chili. We slid into our seats and joined in.
Within minutes the intervening years had evaporated. I looked around the table. We all showed a little wear and tear, but we’d earned it. And in the important things, we were still the people we had been.
We weren’t alike way back then, not by a long shot, but the things we shared in common were more than enough to let us accept the things that made us different, and we were comfortable with each other’s shortcomings.
The reunion was enough to remind us that those early friendships are special treasures. It also was enough to tell us that we didn’t want to wait 25 years for another get-together, so we decided to make it a biennial affair.
Since then we’ve met by the ocean in California, on Lake Martin in Alabama, in the mountains of Tennessee, at Lake Tahoe, on Mount Desert Island in Maine, and, two years ago, in St. Petersburg. We called that gathering the return to t he scene of the crime.
All of us have hit a few bumps along the way, but on the whole we have been very lucky. We are still here, still married to the same spouses. We have raised our children and have been rewarded with grandchildren.
But, for a week or so, we will be in our 20s again. When we are together now, as it was then, we are all individual people, not someone’s son or daughter, not someone’s business associate or boss. We are important to each other because of who we are, not because of our title or economic standing.
And if our week together had a soundtrack, it would be filled with laugher.
That is a wonderful thing to keep.
The writer can be contacted at billatthelake@google.com
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Hands Off Gulf State Park
An upscale resort and convention center on Alabama’s Gulf of Mexico beachfront sounds swell.
Most of us Alabamians, I think, like to be able to tell the world that we know how to do things well. We’re proud of the reputation that the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail has earned, even if we don’t play golf. We’re proud of the Grand Hotel’s legendary status, even if we can’t afford to stay there.
A $100 million hotel and convention center, complete with a spa, on the powdery sands of the Gulf could go right on that list. It just reeks of luxury and exclusivity.
All we would have to do is turn over a hunk of Gulf State Park to private enterprise. Technically, the park land would remain in pubic ownership while being leased long-term to Auburn University, which would then have a private developer build and operate the center.
Anyway you slice it, though, the public would lose something it once had.
You may remember the lodge that the state operated at the park. It was, well, pretty plain, and it had already fallen on hard times before Hurricane Ivan finished it off. Even in its decline, though, the lodge was right on one of the loveliest stretches of beach that you can find anywhere. And the price for lodging meant that a vacation at the beach was within the reach of average Alabamians.
Some of the folks who want to see a luxury resort rise on the site use the derelict condition of the old facility as a reason for building something grander. But the condition of the old lodge was the result of years of shameful neglect, a neglect that affected most of the state’s parks. Those same parks had once been among the finest in the nation – something else that we once would point to with pride.
The parks are among the things (some would argue the few things) the state provides that benefits ordinary citizens. Yet the state – or at least Gov. Bob Riley’s administration – wants to shut ordinary Alabamians out of a prime part of the park system and make it the haunt of the well heeled. (Any time you talk about the increasing disparity between the incomes of the few at the top of the heap and the vast majority, Republicans accuse you of fomenting class warfare. Actually, the war is over. They won.)
I don’t know Charley Grimsley, the former conservation commissioner who has led the effort to derail the deal, but I applaud him.
Ruling in a suit that Grimsley and others brought, Montgomery Circuit Judge Gene Reese ruled against the Riley administration. He found that the plan violated the constitutional provision that any facility at the park be operated and maintained by the state Conservation Department. He said state law sets the longest lease at 12 years and stipulates that a lease be competitively bid (Riley’s plan calls for a lease up to 99 years with no competitive bidding). Reese also ruled that the plan violated a state law that requires the state to take into account the average per capita and family income of Alabamians in planning lodging at the state parks.
Grimsley said, “Gulf State Park was built so that the working people could have a place to enjoy the beach. Long after I’m gone, I want the poorest man in Alabama to be able to take his child or grandchild to Gulf State Park.
 The governor is appealing Reese’s decision. “We can’t continue to lose millions of convention dollars to our neighboring state of Florida because we don’t have adequate hotel and convention facilities at Gulf State Park,” he said.
Well, that is disingenuous at best. State parks were created for all of the people, not just the privileged.
If there is a market for a luxury hotel and convention center (and spa), isn’t that an opportunity for private enterprise? Aren’t the Republicans supposed to be the party of free enterprise? It’s interesting to note that among those suing to stop the state plan is a hotel operator in Orange Beach, presumably one who is operating without a state subsidy.
I think Bob Riley is the best governor Alabama has had in a long, long time. But in this case, I think Bob Riley is dead wrong.
 If he really wants to be governor for all Alabamians, he ought to drop the appeal.
You can contact Bill Brown at billatthelake@gmail.com
Most of us Alabamians, I think, like to be able to tell the world that we know how to do things well. We’re proud of the reputation that the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail has earned, even if we don’t play golf. We’re proud of the Grand Hotel’s legendary status, even if we can’t afford to stay there.
A $100 million hotel and convention center, complete with a spa, on the powdery sands of the Gulf could go right on that list. It just reeks of luxury and exclusivity.
All we would have to do is turn over a hunk of Gulf State Park to private enterprise. Technically, the park land would remain in pubic ownership while being leased long-term to Auburn University, which would then have a private developer build and operate the center.
Anyway you slice it, though, the public would lose something it once had.
You may remember the lodge that the state operated at the park. It was, well, pretty plain, and it had already fallen on hard times before Hurricane Ivan finished it off. Even in its decline, though, the lodge was right on one of the loveliest stretches of beach that you can find anywhere. And the price for lodging meant that a vacation at the beach was within the reach of average Alabamians.
Some of the folks who want to see a luxury resort rise on the site use the derelict condition of the old facility as a reason for building something grander. But the condition of the old lodge was the result of years of shameful neglect, a neglect that affected most of the state’s parks. Those same parks had once been among the finest in the nation – something else that we once would point to with pride.
The parks are among the things (some would argue the few things) the state provides that benefits ordinary citizens. Yet the state – or at least Gov. Bob Riley’s administration – wants to shut ordinary Alabamians out of a prime part of the park system and make it the haunt of the well heeled. (Any time you talk about the increasing disparity between the incomes of the few at the top of the heap and the vast majority, Republicans accuse you of fomenting class warfare. Actually, the war is over. They won.)
I don’t know Charley Grimsley, the former conservation commissioner who has led the effort to derail the deal, but I applaud him.
Ruling in a suit that Grimsley and others brought, Montgomery Circuit Judge Gene Reese ruled against the Riley administration. He found that the plan violated the constitutional provision that any facility at the park be operated and maintained by the state Conservation Department. He said state law sets the longest lease at 12 years and stipulates that a lease be competitively bid (Riley’s plan calls for a lease up to 99 years with no competitive bidding). Reese also ruled that the plan violated a state law that requires the state to take into account the average per capita and family income of Alabamians in planning lodging at the state parks.
Grimsley said, “Gulf State Park was built so that the working people could have a place to enjoy the beach. Long after I’m gone, I want the poorest man in Alabama to be able to take his child or grandchild to Gulf State Park.
 The governor is appealing Reese’s decision. “We can’t continue to lose millions of convention dollars to our neighboring state of Florida because we don’t have adequate hotel and convention facilities at Gulf State Park,” he said.
Well, that is disingenuous at best. State parks were created for all of the people, not just the privileged.
If there is a market for a luxury hotel and convention center (and spa), isn’t that an opportunity for private enterprise? Aren’t the Republicans supposed to be the party of free enterprise? It’s interesting to note that among those suing to stop the state plan is a hotel operator in Orange Beach, presumably one who is operating without a state subsidy.
I think Bob Riley is the best governor Alabama has had in a long, long time. But in this case, I think Bob Riley is dead wrong.
 If he really wants to be governor for all Alabamians, he ought to drop the appeal.
You can contact Bill Brown at billatthelake@gmail.com
Sunday, July 13, 2008
There's MoreThan Luck in Being a Parent – But a Little Luck Helps
I look at our two sons, grown now with children of their own, with wonder and some amazement – how did they turn out so, well, decent – and a small degree of pride – maybe we had something to do with it.
All of that is fresh in mind because the two of them were together with us for a couple of days over the July 4 holiday. That happens rarely – geography conspires to keep the apart – so I relished every moment, talking with them or just watching them enjoying each other.
Here were two people whom I respect and whose company I would enjoy even if they weren’t kin to me.
As much as I would like to think that it was all our doing, I know that raising children doesn’t work that way. There are no surefire rules for being a successful parent, though I am sure you could write down some surefire rules for being a failure.
A lot of us have had to learn parenting as we go along. I know I didn’t have a real role model for being a dad. I never saw my father after my 16th summer and saw precious little of him before then. We moved too often for me to have anyone who could be called a mentor.
Fortunately, most children are remarkably resilient, and I have come to believe that just being around counts for a lot.
I like to think that our sons learned some things from me. I know that I have learned a great deal from them and continue to do so.
From our older son, I have learned about optimism. He was born with the ability to see the positive side of almost any situation. You’ve got a flat tire? Aren’t you lucky that you have a spare and that it isn’t raining? That kind of mindset is not my nature, and I don’t know how many times I have been taking a gloomy view only to think of what Jeff would say and have smiled.
From our younger son, I’ve grown to appreciate a longer perspective – and patience. Funny that he learned before I did that there are a lot of things that aren’t nearly as important as we make them at the time, things we won’t even remember. Just because other people have priorities that aren’t the same as yours, it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.
I watch our sons with their children, and I suspect that in many ways they are better fathers than I was. I only hope that they turn out to be as lucky as I have been.
The writer can be contacted at billatthelake@gmail.com
All of that is fresh in mind because the two of them were together with us for a couple of days over the July 4 holiday. That happens rarely – geography conspires to keep the apart – so I relished every moment, talking with them or just watching them enjoying each other.
Here were two people whom I respect and whose company I would enjoy even if they weren’t kin to me.
As much as I would like to think that it was all our doing, I know that raising children doesn’t work that way. There are no surefire rules for being a successful parent, though I am sure you could write down some surefire rules for being a failure.
A lot of us have had to learn parenting as we go along. I know I didn’t have a real role model for being a dad. I never saw my father after my 16th summer and saw precious little of him before then. We moved too often for me to have anyone who could be called a mentor.
Fortunately, most children are remarkably resilient, and I have come to believe that just being around counts for a lot.
I like to think that our sons learned some things from me. I know that I have learned a great deal from them and continue to do so.
From our older son, I have learned about optimism. He was born with the ability to see the positive side of almost any situation. You’ve got a flat tire? Aren’t you lucky that you have a spare and that it isn’t raining? That kind of mindset is not my nature, and I don’t know how many times I have been taking a gloomy view only to think of what Jeff would say and have smiled.
From our younger son, I’ve grown to appreciate a longer perspective – and patience. Funny that he learned before I did that there are a lot of things that aren’t nearly as important as we make them at the time, things we won’t even remember. Just because other people have priorities that aren’t the same as yours, it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.
I watch our sons with their children, and I suspect that in many ways they are better fathers than I was. I only hope that they turn out to be as lucky as I have been.
The writer can be contacted at billatthelake@gmail.com
Monday, July 7, 2008
Maybe Things Aren't Going to Hell in a Hand Basket as Quickly as We Fear
Many of us, I suspect, harbor the secret conviction that the next generation somehow dropped the vessel of culture as we were handing it off to them. It doesn’t matter that the generation before us thought the same thing; this time we’re sure it’s true.
Every once in a while, though, I get a sliver of evidence that we are too pessimistic.
Such was the case the other night.
Our Air Force son and his family have been visiting with us between assignments, and several of his friends and their children – the next couple of generations, if you will – were guests at our house over the July 4 holiday weekend.
They don’t get to see each other in person very often, and after dinner they were catching up.
Eventually, the talk turned to entertainment – particularly to television programs that they have followed for multiple seasons. I was largely an observer. We do not watch very much television at our house, and I had never seen any of the programs that they were talking about.
Television has always been part of their lives, and it is a different medium for them than it was for us.
Television and we were relatively young at the same time. Our choices were limited, and if there were a program that we liked, we bent our schedule to that of the television network. Either you watched a show at the time it was broadcast or you missed it.
This generation doesn’t operate that way. They record the programs they like, or get a whole season on DVD, or download programs from the Internet.
They watch movies, too, and as they talked, they compared their movie watching with their television habits.
A more apt comparison, I thought, was with books, with literature.
Movies are more like plays. From Aristophanes to Shakespeare to Albee, playwrights have tackled the human condition and stimulated their audiences to think and discuss as well as to enjoy.
But a play or a movie, as arresting as it may be, is of a far more limited nature than a book.
As they discussed their television shows, they took a much longer view than they would of a movie: “The first two seasons were really good, but they got off track in season three; this season is much better.”
It wasn’t just the individual story lines that occupied most of their attention. They talked about characters – and character. Is one of them good or evil, or some of both? How has the character changed over time?
Aren’t those the kinds of things that people who read Tolstoy or Faulkner talked about, too? And good literature is entertaining as well as enlightening.
Personally, I still get far more from the printed word than I do from television. But just because a younger generation gets its literature in a different fashion, it does not mean that it is less intelligent or thoughtful.
Perhaps the vessel carrying our culture hasn’t been broken so much as it has changed shape.
The writer can be contacted at billatthelake@gmail.com
Every once in a while, though, I get a sliver of evidence that we are too pessimistic.
Such was the case the other night.
Our Air Force son and his family have been visiting with us between assignments, and several of his friends and their children – the next couple of generations, if you will – were guests at our house over the July 4 holiday weekend.
They don’t get to see each other in person very often, and after dinner they were catching up.
Eventually, the talk turned to entertainment – particularly to television programs that they have followed for multiple seasons. I was largely an observer. We do not watch very much television at our house, and I had never seen any of the programs that they were talking about.
Television has always been part of their lives, and it is a different medium for them than it was for us.
Television and we were relatively young at the same time. Our choices were limited, and if there were a program that we liked, we bent our schedule to that of the television network. Either you watched a show at the time it was broadcast or you missed it.
This generation doesn’t operate that way. They record the programs they like, or get a whole season on DVD, or download programs from the Internet.
They watch movies, too, and as they talked, they compared their movie watching with their television habits.
A more apt comparison, I thought, was with books, with literature.
Movies are more like plays. From Aristophanes to Shakespeare to Albee, playwrights have tackled the human condition and stimulated their audiences to think and discuss as well as to enjoy.
But a play or a movie, as arresting as it may be, is of a far more limited nature than a book.
As they discussed their television shows, they took a much longer view than they would of a movie: “The first two seasons were really good, but they got off track in season three; this season is much better.”
It wasn’t just the individual story lines that occupied most of their attention. They talked about characters – and character. Is one of them good or evil, or some of both? How has the character changed over time?
Aren’t those the kinds of things that people who read Tolstoy or Faulkner talked about, too? And good literature is entertaining as well as enlightening.
Personally, I still get far more from the printed word than I do from television. But just because a younger generation gets its literature in a different fashion, it does not mean that it is less intelligent or thoughtful.
Perhaps the vessel carrying our culture hasn’t been broken so much as it has changed shape.
The writer can be contacted at billatthelake@gmail.com
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